Saturday, May 23, 2020

Harry Potter and the Potty Chair



My husband is determined to read Harry Potter to our kids. I fully support this idea since they are 5 and 7, reading is imperative to their development.

It's also a way to relive the nostalgia of a book that captured our imaginations. Surely, our children will find the story about The Boy Who Lived to be as awesome as we did, right?

Okay, so we jumped the gun a little.

When my daughter was two, my husband would try to read with her in the rocking chair before bed. After being assaulted repeatedly, he decided to put her in her crib where he could read to her from a safe distance.

A toddler's rage is not to be trifled with. I could hear her screaming at him from the other side of the house. When I checked in to see if they were okay, he was often being pelted with toys, she was throwing all her blankies out of the crib, and getting ready to launch her diaper with her famous left arm.

At least I wasn't the only one who had to dodge the dirty diapers being thrown.

So, she hated this nighttime reading.

After some discussion, we decided she just wasn't ready for Wizarding school and went with small baby books with pictures. She hated them too, but no one got toy blocks to the head and she stopped trying to chew her way through the crib handles.

It's important to remember that at this time, my daughter had a severe speech delay and much of her frustration may have been because she was effectively mute. The following year she started speech therapy, but there was still a lot of screaming for the next few years.

With the speech delay heavy on his mind, dad was determined to speak a lot around her in hopes that she would try too. So once again, he picked up Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone, but this time, he only read it for a few minutes at a time while on the potty chair.

You can guess how Lilith, slayer of hearts, and ruler of the calendar felt about this.

There was more screaming. She would flee the bathroom to promptly piss on the floor. So, we decided she just wasn't ready for potty training, no big deal.

In hindsight, maybe if we tried potty training without reading to her, she may have been just fine.

At some point, Lilith found the book out of the seventy-five books on my shelf, she found it, and that morning we came out to find the living room covered in pages of our book. There would be no more reading Harry Potter to her.

Fast Forward to last night...

She is now 7 and dad has started up his Harry Potter machine again, only this time it's an eBook. We never replaced the copy she destroyed, I guess.

I could hear her in her room asking, "Are we done reading now?"

It seems some things do not change.

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